Taming the Simmering Fire of Anxiety... 'School Routine'

In the second part of this series I'd like to share our experiences with routine. 


Learning New or Old Routines

Distractions for autistic kids (or at least in my experience) can be as simple as a soft but high pitched sound from a TV or a dog barking or even the feel of a substance...  In the shower one most parents (not just those with autistic children) can relate to is a child that soaps every surface in the shower or squishes the soap until it no longer looks like a bar of soap.  For us it was the lathering of surfaces but with shampoo...

As autistic children can be visual learners we worked with Seraphin to come up with a story board of the shower routine from starting the shower to turning the water off...  This included representing the required amount of shampoo as a 20 cent piece etc...


The School Routine

Another challenge I'm sure most parents have is one with school routine.  This was especially the case once our daughter started secondary school (middle school).  The routines become much more complex to manage and it is a massive change.  Kids move from having one main teacher to 8+ teachers, each with their own personalities and teaching methods.  Homework and tests are another challenge as changes in timetables or extra-curricular activities such as siblings sports can make a strict routine difficult to keep consistent.

We found there was 3 main components components to making this successful.  Planning, Communication and Reward/Recognition.  Planning involved both setting up prompts to assist in day to day schedule planning but also planning for actions for when Seraphin felt anxious. Communication involves communicating with the child as well as the school and other carers such as grandparents.  Reward and recognition ties the goals of the planning directly back into the rewards as discussed in our previous blog. 

Planning

Firstly it is important to discuss all these with the child and have them give input into how they would like to be prompted.  In this case it was decided to use the school timetable to colour code subjects.  These same colours were then used to purchase homework folders for each subject as well as used to write notes in her diary and on a whiteboard we setup on her desk.  Each morning she was prompted to check her timetable to see what she had on and then check in her diary if there was work to be handed in or a test to complete.  Of course each night the same check would be in place.  We eventually worked her up to a weekly schedule where she was able to plan a week of tasks out...  Note this is still a work in progress...   I will let you know how we go but so far so good...  ;)


As parents of autistic children we know that changes in routine can have a devastating affect on out child's anxiousness.  Changes in routine are normal especially in secondary school, so a big part of planning involves putting action plans into place for both your child and their carers to follow if situations of anxiety arise.  A key component is finding something that will assist your child in calming themselves down.  Many autistic kids find the touch or feel of an object helpful in relieving stress.  Recently this has become an elastic bracelet that Seraphin wears.  She can fiddle with it or even give herself a flick if need be.  Although this is a tool to calm herself it is also being used a tool for communication without having to speak.  If her stress levels get high (see the catastrophe scale) she can take the bracelet off and place it on the desk.  The teacher then knows she needs a break. 

It is of course important to make sure if your child has to leave class they are somewhere safe and staff know where they are.  At our recent school this was a chair in the main office.  It is important at this stage to ensure the child is left alone for a set 'agreed' amount of time, such as 10 minutes.  After the time is up they need to understand the importance of discussing their challenge and returning to class.

Communication

It is thoroughly important that the child, parents and schools communicate consistently.  Everyone in that circle needs to be agreed on action plans.  

In regards to communication we found email the best. 

Reward and Recognition

In this instance we tied this back into internet and electronic device usage as well as the ability to record videos and upload pictures to the blog for people to view.  For example if she was to achieve a B or above on a test she would get 30-60 minutes free internet time.  If there was a great week she would be able to work on a new video blog or share a new drawing on the internet.  These are just a couple of examples although as parents you will know what will work with best with your children.

If you have any questions or are after some more detail please feel free to post a comment and I'll reply.

Regards,

Materia

Seraphin Rae's YouDoodle Demo

Hey All,

Just a quick one today to share a YouDooble demo that Seraphin did to show people how she uses the You Doodle app to convert a sketch to a digital full colour image.

Regards,

Materia Stone

Reducing The Ever Simmering Fire Called Anxiety... Part 1

The one thing I see repeating a lot in support forums is parents or guardians getting to a point of hopelessness.  Life with a Asperger's child for parents can be one that is filled with a lot of anxiety.  This anxiety manifests itself in many ways, some children are just unable function and go into a virtual self made hole while others may have extreme verbal and/or physical tantrums.  As children get older it gets a lot more difficult to handle and also they become more immune to the effects of traditional punishments.

Every parent has their own way of handling situations that arise although how can we work with our children to reduce the anxiety that causes them to explode?  Every child is different and I am no expert on every child with a Autism although over the next few blogs I would like to discuss some strategies that have and haven't worked for us.  

First cab off the rank... Discipline...

Traditional Forms of Punishment

To the first uncomfortable word of this blog... The 'S' word...  'Smacking'...  I was brought up in a fairly strict traditional household.  Smacking was the basic form of punishment which then escalated to the 'willy the whaler' (a shoe horn) or a wooden spoon if so required.  At one stage my parents even went as far as the old 'wash your mouth out with soap trick' for swearing...  Private schools were also allowed to smack. I'll admit I received a couple blows from belts, canes and even a rounders bat in there somewhere...  While now being illegal due to the misuse of these punishments by who can only be described as 'angry frustrated old men' (and some women), I was lucky and only received these punishments when I truly deserved it...  Not out of anger.  While many modern parents don't agree with that method I do see now that my parents actions and that of my teachers were only out of love and I appreciate and love them more for it.  I wouldn't be the strong, successful and loving father I am today without it.  So thanks parents and teachers, you got me there... in the end...  Awesome Job!

Although as you will see below our experience over the last few months has changed our view of this out dated method...

Other traditional methods include the time out chair, sitting in the naughty corner (or on the naughty mat).  None of which ever worked with our children...  Then came the wonderful invention...  The iPad and Internet!

Where to from Traditional?

At first the iPad was a bought as a learning tool, but it quickly turned into an addiction for our children, like many others.  Many experts also believe that the bright back lights from these devices can cause sleeping problems.  So many negatives for it, but how do we as parents use it to our advantage...  

Now that Seraphin (our Apsi girl) and her younger sibling were getting older, traditional consequences for bad behavior were not working...  They are becoming immune.... No.....  What do we?!??!  I'm pulling my hair out?!?!?  I'm going to have a breakdown?!?!  Anyone else feeling or felt the same at some stage?!?!?!

Positive Reinforcement

Ok so, first of all, I'll admit due to the challenges I had as a kid I became a 'helicopter parent'.  Although helicopter parents also tend to spoil the kids (well at least we did) so what happened? The kids thought that all their technology was a right not a privilege. 

We then looked at what items of technology each child used and also looked at how they were used.  E.G. what sites were being viewed and what TV shows were being watched?  What were the positive things being used?  What did they feel good about?  Yes, there were negatives but that's a discussion for another day....

Seraphin was communicating with a wider online community where she was respected for her artistic ability.  I never even knew...  Damn I felt terrible at first...  Seraphin also listened to and found her personal taste in music using YouTube and iTunes radio etc...  Both these things were a positive.  So how could we use that as a positive reinforcement that was linked to right kinds of behavior?  So we sat down with both children and discussed the following rules...

1. Be Respectful to people in authority - (This included be on time for class at school) 
2. Follow the Routine (Not all Autistic kids like routine although most need it)
2. Complete chores
3. Complete homework (including sport practice etc...)

We then gave fair warning that all devices would now be locked from the internet.  The Internet is the medium where both children accessed their outlets.  Now while at first this sounds cruel, it wasn't as we linked their requirement to be positively acknowledged with it.  For Seraphin one of these was the lifting of the ban from creating her own YouTube videos.  This was an important additional privilege which was attached to the above 4 rules.  As long as these were adhered to, she would earn 30 - 60 minutes on the internet either on her laptop or iPad. As per a previous blog Seraphin recently posted her first 'Let's Play' Video.  This was a massive achievement for her.  A secondary positive affect is that now she does not long to watch a lot of content that we did not feel comfortable with, as she now focuses on those things that bring her a positive outcome rather than just dulling her anxiety.

The Second Dirty Word - The 'D' Word...

Another challenge we grappled with was to whether we mix these new positive reinforcement strategies with medication.  I suggest speaking with your pediatrician or other qualified health care professional as to what to do here.  Although I can say a mixture of both strategies have worked well for us.

Routine and Assisting to cope with Anxiety at School

We have also had some good success with Seraphins routines, while she initially didn't like them, even she admits her anxiety with morning and evening routines are better.  Our daughters school is also working with us on some strategies for the school day to assist her and her teachers to cope with anxiety based situations at school.  I will save these for future posts...

To be continued...

Regards,

Materia Stone

Asperger's Friendly Applications and Games - Part 1

Hey All,

So I thought today I would post about some applications that have been working well to keep Seraphin busy.  Note that we like many parents before us initially just gave these to our child without introducing them as a privilege attached to her success in coping with day to day life.  Seraphin is now a 12yo (almost 13) Aspi girl so you can imagine how we have learnt the hard way...  ;)  These are now a privilege that is earned through following the daily routine and completing school work etc...  Admittedly this seems to be working better than traditional methods of punishment and consequence...  ;)

These applications are a great source of creativity and are especially entertaining and educational for children with autism. 

YouDoodle - Apple iTunes (iPad, iPod, iPhone etc...)

First cab off the rank is an art tool that I find many parents aren't aware of.  YouDoodle is an application available from the iTunes store (feel free to share in comments if there are similar tools for Android or Microsoft tablets/phones).  Seraphin uses this extensively to transpose her sketches from her sketch book into digital format.  She can then freely color, shade or change them.  She is currently working on a 'Speed Paint' demo of how she converts a drawing to share with you all.  I will hopefully be able to post this with next weeks blog.  You can find more information on YouDoodle by typing the follow address into your browser or clicking the link.  

http://youdoodle.net/ 

Please see my previous blog post for examples of drawings made in YouDoodle.

Minecraft

Most parents will have heard of Minecraft before.  This game allows children to create worlds that are quite frankly limited by only their imagination.  The looks and feels a little like a virtual lego world.  You use blocks to create houses, build farms, working trains or pretty much anything. A number of groups run and create extensive puzzle worlds for school holiday programs, such as Invent The World.

Seraphin will be working on a series of 'Let's Play' videos to help new Minecraft gamers get to know it. Feel free to share any videos from your children in comments or on our Youtube page.

Seraphin Rae's Minecraft 'Let's Play' - Episode 1

https://minecraft.net/ 

On a side note I came across the following parents support group over the weekend... Looks like a great place for parents to chat and share experiences.

https://www.facebook.com/AspergersParentConnect?fref=ts 

Well that's it for today,

Regards,

Materia

Aspi Artist At Work!

Hey All,

It's amazing how well Aspi's can translate their emotions into pictures.  As most parents learn early its usually the best way to educate kids on the Autism spectrum as well. Now not all can draw, some may build with lego and others might like to make objects with play-doe.  Although I have found many can do a mixture of these very well.  For instance Seraphin enjoys drawing, making Plasticine figurines and building worlds on Minecraft.  

Today I thought going to share some drawings, some created by hand others created using an awesome app for the iPad, YouDoodle.

Self Cartoon Portrait

The Flame Cat

The Original Sketch (feel free to use it)

A lot of people and even professionals think that autistic children aren't bothered by what others think.  For many it is actually the opposite and they do notice as is highlighted here.

The Bronze Dragon

The original sketch transferred from Seraphin's sketch book.
(Feel free to use it)

So that's it for today...  Seraphin and I will be taking a look at a new Minecraft server dedicated to Autistic Children over the next few days.  We will see what we can do about uploading a video to my YouTube Channel.

Edit: Unfortunately we didn't account for the popularity of the server so we will bring you a video diary of our adventures as soon as we get whitelisted.   :)

Materia Stone

PS:  All Aspi kids are different, these are the experiences of one family living with Aspergers.

Aspi Dayz and Seraphin Rae's Adventures

Welcome to Aspi Dayz...  The adventures and exploits of Seraphin Rae and her parents...

Some context.  My daughter, otherwise known as Seraphin Rae, has a form of autism widely known as Asperger's Syndrome.  Seraphin chose this name which basically means burning wise protector.  You see children and even adults with this challenge are generally very intelligent.  They also are extremely caring although sometimes the average person may not see this.  You see, Aspi's as I have lovingly come to call all of us (Yes I did say us) have a tendency to get very anxious when rules and logic's are not followed.  The anxiousness usually manifests as extreme reactions to situations.  Sometimes this can be anger other times this can be an over exaggerated prank that causes the poor person being pranked to come off second best. 


The purpose of this blog is to not only introduce Seraphin my extremely intelligent and caring daughter and her talents but also to talk about some of the challenges that parents face and what we have done to assist Seraphin.  Hopefully our experiences can help other parents and their children with the strategies to help.  One thing to take into consideration is... every child with Asperger's is unique.  As we have found some of the methods used by different authors have not worked while others have.  This blog is just another aspect for parents and children to take in.

Materia Stone